


Undefinable Love: A Moment Between Stiles and Derek

by BurningSama



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: BAMF!Stiles, Emotional, Love, M/M, Mention of Bonding, Mention of Knotting, Mention of Mating, Not necessarily explicit but to be safe, Touching moment, Violence (Not described), Werewolf!Stiles, alpha!Derek, first person POV, near-death, turning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 11:01:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningSama/pseuds/BurningSama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a vignette, nothing more.  It is short and sweet, a kata lepton.  It is between Stiles and Derek, in which we find our characters at odds and together all at the same time.  Yes there is near-death, and I suppose if you're adverse to werewolf!Stiles (eventual) you'll have to find yourself another fic..</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undefinable Love: A Moment Between Stiles and Derek

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed, something quick I jotted down at three in the morning. I've had comments expressing that I should beta and I'm not entirely able to handle that at the current moment, so forgive any errors.
> 
> Thank you,  
> B.
> 
> P.S. I fear I may have slipped into third person, but on my second read through I don't think I saw anything.

****

**Undefinable Love**

  
  
“Now the thought  
Both of lost happiness and lasting pain  
Torments him; round he throws his baleful eyes  
That witnessed huge affliction and dismay  
Mixed with obdurate pride and steadfast hate....”  
(Paradise Lost, Milton)

 

I couldn’t find the words to clearly express what God damn trouble I found myself in, nor could I truly come to understand how I ended up here.  I suppose my foolishness grew from love, and I suppose I was new to the whole ordeal... The ordeal of love.  Derek... Oh Derek, what would he think if he saw me here.  In this godforsaken woods again — he told me to stay home.  He told me to stay out of this alpha business, but in the end how could I not get involved when he was involved.  I wasn’t going to let him die, I wasn’t going to let them take him.  He was my alpha, he was mine.  He was....  

It all started when he came back to town, and I suppose it took me quite a long while to realize how much I wanted him to be mine.  How much I loved him.  How much I just wanted him to hold me, how much I wanted for him to be alright.  Kate had destroyed him, and I tried to bring him back to his senses and learn to love again.  It took some warming up, but he slowly began to trust and treat me like he wasn’t her.  Like I wasn’t him when she had her claws into him.

The woods were dark when I arrived, the sun had set at least an hour or two before I had left my jeep on the access road.  I had stolen one of dad’s shotguns — he was going to be pissed — and I had taken wolfsbane shells from Deaton.  I was not to be undone by brutish, thuggish creatures that relied solely upon their strength to get their way.

I didn’t want them to see me cry, the pain was getting worse, so I tucked my head into my chest and turned away from their jeering.  I had been defeated, this was true, but in the end I managed to at least tag one in the shoulder.  I had been reckless, hasty, thinking that I could take on the alphas alone — wasn’t that what Derek wanted to do.  We were both so headstrong and foolish and yet... Here I was.  The king of all foolish, headstrong, morons.

“Where is your alpha now?  Missing his knot aren’t you,” one of the alpha ridiculed.

“I could fill that for you,” another mocked.

I took no notice.

Pain coursed through me and I gritted my teeth to mitigate, but it wasn’t enough.  Dad had told me getting shot was a bitch, but now I fear I understood it all too well.  They hadn’t used my own weapon against me, although I would have favoured the irony.  They shot me, instead of biting or clawing me — Oh! No! That would turn me.  And that would cause more bloody problems than it was worth.

They wanted to watch me suffer, I suppose my inner cynic enjoyed the confidence boost.  I knew I was bleeding internally and I was waiting for my body to just recognize it’s own demise.  I laughed, embittered by my own stupidity.

“What’s so funny?” one of them said.

“The fact that regardless of my death, you’ll all follow me shortly,” I replied.

“I doubt that.  We’ll wipe out your pack and Derek will crawl to us,” another added.

I just started laughing.  I couldn’t stop myself.

I was slowly losing my hold upon reality; my vision was blurring and I could hardly form proper sentences.  I attempted as best I could to move away or to try anything, but it was all in vain.

I remember the sounds of bullets and growling.  I thought for just a moment I heard Derek’s, but I doubt it.  Why would he come here.  He didn’t even know I was coming.  I had an argument the previous night and I told him not to come by the next.

It wouldn’t last.  I knew that he would at least call.

Everything soon became darkness until I heard his voice.  He was calling me back.

“Stiles!  Please!  No!”  Derek said, his voice was his low tone that soothed me and brought my vision back to life.

“Derek,” I replied weakly.  I saw his face, his stupid, charming face, looking down on me.  He brought his stubbled cheek to mine and I could have sworn I felt a wetness there.  No, he was definitely crying.  I tried to soothe him, but my words failed, but I could feel a warmness flooding across my mouth.  I tried to breathe, but it was troubled for a moment.  I sharply inhaled, and I could manage to intake at least a good few short breaths.

I still had tears in my eyes, but I couldn’t wipe them away.  Derek had his head nestled into my neck and he was sobbing, I could feel it.

“Derek, I’m,” I said.  I tried to continue, but I had a moment of weakness.  I rested for a moment.  “I’m so sorry.”

“Stiles, I love.  Don’t leave me.  Please.  Stiles....”

I tried to speak.

“You’ll have to turn him,” I heard a voice say.  He sounded like the new English teacher.

“Derek, he’s right.  That or....” Chris Argent said.

“No I can’t he’ll...,” Derek answered.

“You either turn him or he dies, unless you want me to,” the English teacher added.

Derek’s growling reverberated into Stiles.  “Stiles,” Derek whispered into my ear.  “Do you want to live.  Do you want to be a werewolf.”

My eyes went wide for a moment.  I used my last ounce of energy to wrap my arms around him.  I put my lips to his ear and with what I thought to be my last breath, whispered, “Turn me.  Take....”

I felt sharp pain, Derek had his claws into my heart.  I suppose looking back on it, that would have been the fastest way to inject the werewolf... Would you call it toxin?  If I had thought the bullet was bad, this was worse.  The instancy of the delivery drew me into the change faster than I had anticipated.  Thankfully the regeneration wasn’t the last thing to come to me, it was the first.  My body needed the ability to take in all of the changes without killing me in the process.  That — thankfully — was a good sign, at least I was healing.  At least my body wasn’t rejecting Derek’s venom (? It still doesn’t sound right).  

I began to cry from the pain, yes, but from relief, from guilt, from love, etc....  

Derek kissed me, taking my mouth with his.  He rocked me back and forth in his lap, as I strained against the pain and as my body went into tension and out of it.  I howled, yes I howled, and I wanted to see my eyes.  

“After,” Derek said.  “We’ll mate, my bondmate.  My love.”

Another howl from me, trying to exhaust all my pain and all my temporary sorrow.  “You promise not to resent me?”

“I’ll never resent you Stiles, I just wish you made this decision on your own.  I wish.  I wish.”

I shushed him as best as I could between growls, my alpha was going to have his pawsful with me.

“This is my decision.”


End file.
